Thursday, August 16, 2012

Calm.

How do you find peace, find calm, feel calm, act calm?

Simple mind trick.

Stop judging.
Stop criticizing.
Stop comparing this against that.


1
Slow down the mind

Over thinking leads to stress. Over analyzing leads to fear and anger.
The thoughts just need to be stopped.

When they stop you can give off the 'cool' energy vibe- a vibe everyone will be attracted to and love.
- Breathe. Close your eyes. Concentrate on what you hear, smell, see, touch.

Ta da ! You end up in the 'now'.

2
Ignore the past and future

Anxiety (fear, anger, depression, lack of confidence) can only dwell in the PAST AND FUTURE!
Ignore any past 'failures' of yours, ignore any unsure doubts about the future.
Live in the now.

Ahhhhhh I am sitting in sunny florida with a hot cup of tea, a warm blanket and a cute cat. There is no past of future.

3
Tell lingering voices to 'shut up'

Remember in Home Alone when Kevin went down into the creepy basement and the furnace starts opening and closing and laughing and he gets so scared he runs upstairs? Well he had laundry to do and other things. He realized he doesn't have to be scared. He went back downstairs, saw the furnace light up, start laughing and being creepy.
He just looked at the dumb thing and said 'Shuuut uuup ! '
The thing collapsed and went back to normal.

That's the thing with my brain. Some thoughts linger around and around. I can't get them to be quiet. They won't be quiet no matter what. 
The best remedy?
To say SHUT UP!
These thoughts hold no power over me.
I am not these thoughts.

Most likely, they stop, like the furnace did, and I am left with inner calm.
:)

4
Give Gratitude

Oh god, gratitude! So much is being done this very second to influence my well being.
So many simple things I have to be grateful for. 
Even if it's just a hot cup of tea.
But really... it's all the little things that make me happy. So count um and begin to feel humble and fine.




**When you calm down all your negative thoughts, you can be a positive source for energy that everyone wants to be around. When you don't take the time to shut up your thoughts you become a worrisome, fearful, anxious energy to be around.

You can become confident in a second if you just let yourself.

Friday, June 1, 2012

WHY MEN MARRY BITCHES

A Woman's Guide to Winning Her Man's Heart






Forget everything you thought you knew about relationships and how to act with a man. In Sherry Argov's book she gives the greatest advice to women: Be unapologetically yourself and snag the quality man of your dreams.


There are a few things to learn about men.
Men want a woman they can respect. To a man respect and trust is an interchangeable word.
If he respects you he will trust you and therefore have no problem seeing you as someone he wants to be with forever.


So be a bitch to weed out the contenders from the 'pretenders'.
A Bitch = Babe In Total Control of Herself
Exude a 'I can do it myself' attitude.


A bitch has hobbies. She can't be distracted from her work. If you're getting in her way she'll leave you out of her life. She doesn't holler, scream or beg. She packs up her shit and leaves.
She'd rather be staying in a motel and be able to be herself then living in your mansion and being a silent maid for you. She values herself which will make a man value her.


Men also want to see what a woman will bring to the relationship. Do you say things like "I'm broke. I just spent all my money on this purse." He will see you as a liability.
If you say "I am so excited to start my own business." He will take you more seriously. He doesn't want a helpless little girl.




During a fight: She gets up and leaves. Go out for at least two hours
No mothering.
No doting after the little brat.
She takes no disrespect and doesn't want to baby a grown man.
He thinks "That was smooth. She saw it coming and read me like an open book. Hmm... she sure sidestepped that. I guess being a jerk will get me replaced."




When you act emotionally, you feed the fire. IF you let it go or just leave him when he's acting like a turd, he will straighten up if he is a quality man.




The secret of a bitch is she let's him know she is his equal.
She can handle shit like a man.
She doesn't kick her feet, stomp them, or start the waterworks when she's upset.
She acts like you can be replaced.




Hold out for sex. Men will tell you A LOT quickly if he wants to sleep with you. It's all lies, so a quality man will be able to maintain a relationship with you for months with no sex if he's really in it for you.
"Every guy wants sex on the first date. but they PREFER to wait."


Best points to take away from this book:
Have no temper. He will be amazed if you use short- one word- answers.
Instead of 'Stop treating me badly. You're hurting my feelings' and crying, 
say "Are you hungry? You sound crabby. Go fill your belly then come back and talk to me."
Leave the house. And be willing to leave the relationship if he treats you like shit.
Men want to know- are you secure? will you fall apart?
Play  coy. Make him feel like a king and get him to do everything you want him to do by using body language and short answers.


GUYS ARE JUST AS VULNERABLE AS WOMEN. They just will never admit it.
Quality men don't want to be used just for cash or protection. They want to be valued as men.


A MAN'S FAVORITE WORD IS APPRECIATE. HE WANTS MORE THAN ANYTHING TO FEEL REVERED AND VALUED BY A WOMAN. WHEN SHE'S APPRECIATIVE, IT MOTIVATED HIM TO GIVE HER THE WORLD.


Never be available 100%. Sometimes, a movie night with myself has got to be seen as more valuable than time with him. This will drive him wild. It will be unusual.


IF A GUY IGNORES YOU:
Never call him back.
Cut him off completely.
Develop a hobby
Say "Listen, if i'm taking up your time here, and you are feeling like you'd rather be somewhere else that's cool. There's someone out there for everyone."
-Be seen as a limited addition model
Be a catch.
Have no attitude.
Be opinionated, challenging and mature.


" When you stand up for yourself in a dignified, feminine, and womanly way, you can get anything you want from a man. When you place value on yourself in the right way, so will he. "




If you don't feel enough without a husband, you won't feel enough with a  husband.
If you see yourself through a negative lens, you will tell yourself things like " What's wrong with me? All my friends are married except me." Being single doesn't make you less then... any more than marriage is a guarantee for happiness. IF that were the case, half of marriages wouldn't end in divorce.
However, seeing yourself through a positive lens is the best chance at happiness you've got.
Enjoy every day. Live it to the fullest.. Be positive. Love yourself. And screw what anyone else thinks if they don't approve of you. Don't let anyone darken your doorstep Otherwise when you get married you will still be unhappy and feel like you belong in the gutter.


A man desires... craves... and holds out for a strong, spirited woman who know who she is. He doesn't want to feel like he's adopting an orphan or taking in a needy child who apologizes for her need, can't speak her mind, and needs someone else to tell her she's worthy.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Billionaire says: College Isn't Worth It!





Billionaire Peter Thiel becomes a hero to me when I hear of his diagnosis for society: Drop out of college. It isn't worth it anymore.
He's a cofounder of PayPal and he was Facebook's first outside investor.
He is now worth over a billion dollars.




 "Peter Thiel doesn’t say that everyone should drop out of college, merely that higher education is “overvalued,” adding that there is a “price escalation without incredible improvement in the product.” Combined with his notion that university is something people just “have to do”, Thiel is challenging the status quo, and shining light on success stories of people like Microsoft’s Bill Gates, Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg, and Twitter’s Evan Williams — all drop-outs who became billionaires in the technology industry."




He states that in America, we have racked up a Trillion dollars in student loan debt. This debt doesn't help the student (upon graduation only 50% of college graduates actually get a job in their field) and it doesn't help the economy (taxpayers have to pay for the trillion!).


He also states that there are many vocational careers that pay as well as a long, expensive college career.
"Today a plumber makes as much as a doctor." Thiel expresses.
I'm drawn to think of yoga instructors who make 40-70 thousand dollars a year.


He started the Thiel foundation which sponsors young entrepreneurs with grants of 100,000 dollars each, if the student will agree to drop out of college... 
They express their inventions or business ventures that would create a great need in society and help it function better.
He goes on the premise that you can nowadays 'get a degree but not an education.'

I've actually learned more by visiting the library twice a week and reading up to one book every three days.
I now know more on: Finances, Human nature, Positive thinking, and history than I have ever learned in school.
School doesn't teach you how to open your own business, it doesn't teach you tax breaks, it doesn't teach you how to deal with customers and it certainly doesn't teach you how to harness the power in your mind.


http://www.forbes.com/profile/peter-thiel/ 


The best thing Thiel said was "I don't care if people think this is 'shocking.' What I care about is 'is this going to make the world a better place?'"


Moral courage in a billionaire.


He is also a Libertarian. Meaning he likes little government interference and believes we can govern ourselves if we use our morals. He endorses Ron Paul for president.


http://landmarkreport.com/andrew/2011/05/billionaire-peter-theil-offers-grants-to-college-drop-outs




























After all, don't you feel free?
Don't you feel like you have your own ideas to entertain and that what's on the television doesn't even come close to what's inside of your heart?
The only way for us to really become free and happy is to entertain our dreams.
That's why I like people who denounce social norms. Especially people who are so megarich who would have way more benefit investing in schools like Stanford and collecting millions of dollars, knowing people are miserable, and  just keep saying 'School is the best place for you!'
That's how it works mostly in society. Isn't it?
People like Wal-Mart play ads everywhere all the time to say "You're not enough! You need drugs. You need shitty products. You. need. to. hand. over. your. money. to. me. !"
So it means a lot when a huge billionaire like Peter Thiel and Steve Jobs get up and say "NO you don't NEED that! You'll be ok doing whatever you want to do, as long as it is something that helps the world!!"

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Normal Gets You Nowhere !

by Kelly Cutrone.


"Basically, this book is for the freaks. In my opinion, we need to raise an army of supertalented uberfreaks if we are ever going to really change the world- since it's only the freaks who ever have. Look at Steve Jobs, Helen Keller, Rosa Parks, Ben Franklin, Van Gogh, Einstein... You get the picture. How many of these people followed anyone else's rules? Could any of them be possibly considered anything close to normal?

Pause and see what Websters Dictionary has to say about "normal":
nor-mal: 2 a: according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule or principle, b: conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern; 4 a: of, relating to, or characterized by average intelligence or development.

Duh. I rest my case. Who wants to be that?"

It's true. All this time we've been chasing our idea of 'normalcy': go to work, send the kids to school, follow fashion, act normal, walk on pavements, save up for old age. . .
NORMAL= SAFE + Boring + Predictability + No growth

Kelly urges us that a 'norm' is just someone in societies opinion, and their two cents.
"What do you have to say? What in this world are you called to fight for?"

From overdosing people on commercialized drugs, to media, to sex, to children and death, Kelly covers it all.
She makes you feel as though you are worth everything you know deep down you are worth!
If you will only fight for something, the world will open up to you!

She uncovers the fact that advertisers sit around daily and spout phrases like, " Wouldn't it be wild if we...?" and "Can we try ...?" Many of the brands will try anything to get it to work.

This books makes me ask myself: if advertisers and everyone else in business for a profit doesn't want to be normal, views normal as disaster and tries on a regular basis to try new and different things to catch people's eye, then why do we dumb ourselves down and strive to be normal?


She covers how the news uses fear, death and crime to shock us and scare us. To keep us coming back for more. She urges us to speak out against what we loathe: like the smut on the news. We are subject to hearing about the most gruesome, frivolous murders but we are never called upon to stare at the wonderful members of our communities!

She tells us to turn off the tv, don't celebrate the corporate 'holidays', and don't be trapped by dogma!
Create your own holidays.
She suggests we have Christmas on January 5th, when all the major retailers have put 75% off stickers on our favorite gadgets. We should do no shopping, no running around, and have no stress.
We should invent holidays that let us celebrate what we've done to get us to where we are in our lives. To celebrate ourselves.

She opposes fur, she promotes talking about sex with your kids (because who else will teach them!),  learning about the real nation's history, the mistreatment of native american's, and the capital gains big industry makes off of your ignorance on these subjects. She talks about the commercialization of slaughtering birds every thanksgiving, and ends with the note: Will you join me in putting these holidays out of business?


So far, she sounds like my consciousness in this book.
She has all the same morals and standing points that I do. She also doesn't take anyone's shit and tells everyone to 'Fuck off' if you can't handle the truth.
I like her because she has obviously been a seeker of truth: getting her information from books, museums, humans and NOT the news or commercials.


She talks about women and how we need to get up and use out talents.
She talks about the race of 'everyone' and the little known document: The Universal Declaration of Human Rights which Eleanor Roosevelt helped pen where all citizens of humanity have the same rights as all other ones.


Being compassionate is Kelly's big idea. From homelessness to men, to best friend's who are backstabbers, to all of humanity. We must remember to forgive people, to be there no matter what and pray for people.

We need to tend to our friendships and bodies on all levels- from physical, to social, to emotional, psychic and spiritual.


In death, she talks about how we should not fear death. The body is just letting the soul evacuate to go onto another level.
We need to be joyous and sorrowful in death, we need to remember the good with the bad. We need to remember we will not live forever so do your good deeds now!


She states we need to be OK with death. And have a living will. 
We need to also think about what we want to leave behind on this earth: it could be a child, a book, a piece of legislation, a legacy, or maybe just making your kids feel so loved and special.


**She also stated that when her dad died, her mother sat at night in the den of their house where they had lived for 50 years and raised 6 kids, she sat and talked to the husband every night. Everyone thought the mother was growing insane and viewed this as strange and wanted to squish this immediately.
Kelly said, you can move my mom when you can prove she is NOT actually talking to her husband. She said you never know, she could really be there with his spirit. They loved each other so deeply and the fact isn't if he is there, or not there. The fact is that everything that doesn't fit into societies 'acceptable' behavior is squished and swatted until it dies. She urges us to let ourselves be comfortable, raw, emotional and at times out of control.
This will press us to grow. To be more and to see the world in our own unique terms and not in any other persons way.


The ending of the book had to be the best.
After reading about her crazy life and envying her for being so young and having a tumultuous life filled with prestige, money, fame and talent, a little hue of resentment grows inside of you thinking well I live in a small town, have small aspirations and this is great advice but it's hardly practical for me.




Reading the entire book, I got a headache. It was so true, so raw and stimulating that it took some time to digest. Her life is anything but normal. She's a PR executive for celebrities and the best names in the fashion industry. She has Indian guru friends, encounters with the Divine consciousness, a child, parents who were together until the end, and a tough-as-nails persona that I love.
 In the last pages she states that she did try to be normal, to sit back, relax and sip margaritas while swinging off a tire swing into a pond on a sunday afternoon.
She daydreamed about having a man to come home to to protect her and love her.
She said trying to be normal isn't fun and it isn't stimulating.
You don't grow. She says to be special you have to work super hard, stay up late, starve yourself, maybe fly off the handle once or twice.
"If Normal will get you Nowhere, Consciousness will get you fucking everywhere, from Bali to Paris to your very own block. I hope to see you there."


Overall, it helps me to know that people are not going to respect an educated and atypical girl who has done her homework. They are going to make me feel weird and tell me 'i'm too much' to get me to shut up and be normal. I have to push even harder, learn more and leave a circle of people who don't get me.



Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Splinter




Splinter loved chatting it up online



Haha! Look closely in the middle for the bald nose, he was always underneath everyone in the hammock. 







The last couple days, Splinter wouldn't leave my side.  He slept in my bed with me all day and night and I'm super grateful for the quality time we got to spend together before he left.  He not only slept with me but when I was crying, he would reach out to me and grab my face or put his nose on mine to show me that it was okay and reassure me that I gave him a good life.  I'll never forget this little baby face, I miss you terribly, but am glad you are not suffering anymore. <33


Best little 3 year old ever.  Splinter (aka Wilbur) lived a long and healthy life, I couldn't miss him more.  He is loved greatly by me, my sister, Olivia, his son, Kramer and his adopted son, Peter Pan. Seriously the best dad and friend you could ask for...wouldn't even hurt a fly.  Our little family is heartbroken that we wont get to see you in your barnyard window anymore.  I'll never forget your bald nose and your gentle spirit.  Thank you for always taking care of me <333  Say hi to Kai for us xoxoxo

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Cinnamon rolls, cookies and yerba mate tea



Don't think I'll ever get over my love of sugar.  I'm at the store every couple days buying cookies, usually Uncle Eddie's peanut butter and chocolate chip!!  (You don't understand how good these are!!)  But I love to switch it up and try something new.  These cinnamon rolls by Zen Bakery are definitely on the top of my list.  With 9 simple ingredients and no sugar, I could eat these all day long!  St. Amours Daniel's vegan chocolate chip cookies (*extra chocolate chips!) and Susan's sugar free oats and peanut butter cookies were good also.  You can get the cookies at Whole Foods, not the cinnamon rolls, but if you have a Mother's Market by you, you will be in vegan heaven<33  Everything you can imagine, they have a vegan version for it and it's amazing!

Butternut squash and mixed veggies over rice



Got a cute, tiny butternut squash from the farmers market to try because I never had one before and I'm in love.  This one was about 6 or 7 inches long.  I'm not sure how the huge, supermarket butternut squashes compare but when I split mine open all I could think of was Halloween!  Arguably the best smell ever is a fresh cut squash/pumpkin.  

Wasn't sure what to do with it so I peeled the skin off and cut into chunks, drizzled a little coconut oil and baked it in the oven on about 375 degrees for 20 minutes or so until done.  It was really amazing actually.  I don't think I would buy one of the huge ones in the supermarket, I'll stick to tiny farmers market squash.  Everything is better when it's tiny.  When veggies are allowed to grow so big (so they can make more $$$) they tend to be dry and flavorless.

I fried some baby broccoli and threw in some tomatoes for a minute and served it over some brown rice.  

:)